Chapter 19: No Regrets

A/N:

Hoped you all enjoyed that last chapter! I had a blast writing Jason’s and Lafayette’s reactions. I may have cracked myself up with Jason. Honestly though, how could any reaction he would have not be funny?

Disclaimer: True Blood and SVM in their entirety belong to HBO, Alan Ball, and Charlaine Harris. I’m just a wannabe with a charming sense of humor.


I nodded and looked at Godric. He smiled at me and began instructing me on how to make my glamour stronger, “When you do this, push as far as you can into his mind. This is not like glamouring someone into completing a task or forgetting something that just recently happened. You want to set up a block around everything you just told him. Imagine it’s like a two-way mirror. Lafayette will be able to see out, but nobody else will be able to see in and come across that information. Only Lafayette should be able to have access to it.”

“Okay,” I said with a nod and exhaled. Then I turned back to Lafayette and pulled his mind under my influence.

Everything else fell away as I entered it. I used my telepathy to help me burrow deeper, searching for his memories of me. I wanted to smile when I found them closely tucked into his memories of everyone he considered family, near the epicenter of his mind that held everything fundamental to who he was. I sifted through everything he remembered about me, wincing when I came across his grief, and found everything I just told him. It turned out that he already knew about supernatural creatures, including fairies, because of someone named Jesus, and what I had told him had been like understanding something he hadn’t even realized didn’t make sense to him. Now, it just all clicked and he understood.

I set up shop around the information about my fae-ness and day-walking, erecting a two-way mirror. After I finished, I realized that this structure wouldn’t allow for him to add memories to it. When he saw me in the sunshine any day after this, I would have to glamour him again, so I altered the mirror. I made it more liquid than solid on the outside so that information could still pass into the block, but not come back out. When I pressed my influence against it in experimentation, it rippled, but stayed strong. I also added a door for Lafayette’s consciousness to use that could only be opened from the inside. With this new liquid development, the block was a lot more seamless and fluid. It would be hard to locate for anyone other than me.

“Lafayette, you’ll never tell anyone else that I am part-fae, that I can day-walk, or anything else about fairies or my additional abilities, okay?”

“Okay, Sookie,” he said in a robotic voice, as if he were in a trance.

“If anyone tries to find out, you will retreat in your mind behind the block I created, it’ll keep you and everything I told you tonight safe. You won’t come back out until they stop trying. You won’t even be able to try to tell them about me being Fae or day-walking, will you, Lafayette?” I asked in a seductive, hypnotic tone and smiled, like that fact was funny, to put him more at ease.

“Naw,” he laughed. “I can’t even try. I’ll be safe behind the water.”

“Good, Lafayette,” I said and pulled myself out gently, patching up all evidence I was even there as I removed my influence. When I pulled out completely, he blinked and smiled.

“Shit, Sook. I could see and feel what you were doing since you didn’t glamour me to forget none. You’s really good at that. You come in so smooth, like taking a shot of Greygoose instead of Smirnoff,” he said and I laughed. Godric furrowed his brows but didn’t bother to ask.

“What’d he mean when he said ‘behind the water,’ child?” Godric asked me, intrigued.

“I realized that, if it were just a two-way mirror, it wouldn’t be elastic enough to add more memories and information later. He’d keep my day-walking secret, but I’d have to glamour him into keepin’ each and every thing I did out in the sunshine quiet, so I changed the construct. I turned the outside of the two-way mirror into liquid, so more information can pass through it, enter it, but not come back out. I also added a door so Lafayette can retreat behind it if vampires get too aggressive when they push on his mind, one that will only open from the inside. The liquid mirror is designed to let his consciousness and any info about me, fairies, and day-walking pass through it. Once he’s inside, he can use the door to get back out, and only he can pass through it, not any info. The mirror is solid on the inside so information can’t be removed. In a way, he’ll be able to glamour himself about my day-walking from now on,” I explained.

“And it ripples when you touch it,” Lafayette added in a voice filled with childlike awe. I furrowed my own brows at this and took a peek into his mind. He watched me build the mirror, so he knew where it was and was currently stroking it, playing with it. I giggled.

Godric raised his eyebrows as he listened to my explanation, then his mouth dropped open in astonishment. He filled me to the brim with pride, affection, and pleasure. Eric and Pam sent me curiosity when they felt it and even Lafayette looked impressed, a look which quickly turned into amusement and laughter when I began purring like a tabby cat.

“Aw, Sook,” he said when he caught his breath. “You always is taking care of us. You didn’t just protect what I knew ’bout you. You’s found a way to keep my mind safe too. Thank you, Fangs.” He leaned in to give me a hug as he spoke and finished with a kiss to my cheek.

“Anything for family, Laf,” I returned with a kiss of my own.

“Lafayette,” Godric said, catching his attention, “May I test out Sookie’s glamour? We need to make sure she’s protected as well.”

Lafayette nodded immediately, wanting to make sure I’d be safe too.

I watched with my mind while watching Godric with my eyes. He became slightly more predatory, more vampire, and his voice was steeped in seductiveness. He tunneled through Lafayette’s mind, looking for the block, but passed over it. His eyebrow shot up in surprise when he couldn’t find it. Finally, he decided to take a different approach and pressed glamour around Lafayette’s entire mind as he asked, “What’s unique about Sookie, Lafayette?”

“The girl got a heart of gold,” he answered back. I laughed and my heart squeezed with love for my friend. I could feel the members of my bloodline basking in the overflow of my love for him. Even Nora and Pam were stroking and caressing it, which made me shiver. Eric appeared to be cloaking himself in it from head to toe, wrapping it around his bonds and ties. I sent him my mirth and he sent me back gratitude and affection.

“Yes, she does,” Godric said with a smile. “But can she do anything other vampires can’t?”

“Not that I know of,” he replied tonelessly. Godric’s fangs dropped and he pressed harder, more aggressively, which was uncomfortable for Lafayette so I watched as he slipped through the water, tucking himself away.

“Can Sookie day-walk, Lafayette?” he asked, every word dripping with sex.

“Nah, man. Vamps burn in the sun,” he replied with his voice completely devoid of life since he had retreated to safety. With this answer, Godric eased up, pulling himself out gently until none of Lafayette’s mind was under his influence any longer and retracted his fangs. He sent me his pride again, so much so that I actually stumbled from the sheer amount, while I watched as Lafayette slipped back out the door and closed it behind him. “Shit, Godric. You not as smooth, man. Sookie’s touch almost feels like fur but with you, I can feel your fingers. It creepy.”

I smiled at that while Godric let out a full-bellied laugh. I could feel his affection for my friend growing. He liked Lafayette and appreciated his candor and humor.

“It appears Sookie may have a gift,” he said while nodding. Though it sounded like an off the cuff remark, I understood that he was telling me glamour was a vampire gift of mine. It made sense, actually, since my telepathy let me see what my glamours physically looked like and let me target specific information. Not only that, I could use my influence on vampires. I shot my gratitude for the comment and comprehension his way so he knew I had understood what he was trying to tell me.

“Damn straight. My girl is talented,” he purred, making me blush in the tie, and then pouted, “It’s not as fun, Sook, if you can’t blush anymore.” I laughed hard while hoping at the same time that meant he wouldn’t tease me as much. “Well, Miss Fangs, I gots to get back to work before Boss man comes at me. I see you soon? Maybe lunch one day?” he said with an eyebrow quirked. “You staying at the farmhouse?”

“Yeah, we need to talk to Sam and Tara anyways before we meet back up with Eric,” I said.

“Eric Northman?” he asked in surprise. “You hanging out with that scary bitch now?” His mind actually radiated his terror as he spoke and, out of concern that Godric replicated when he felt mine, I looked into his mind again and saw his nightmares, the hallucination he had during the maenad attack, and the blood dreams. Lafayette was suffering from PTSD.

“Lala, Godric is also Eric’s maker. Though we’re living in Bon Temps, I’m probably gonna be around Eric a lot and him me. I know you’re afraid of him after the punishment for the V. I can’t take away the memories since you need to be aware of what happens if you commit another crime against vamps, but I can glamour you into not feelin’ terror in his presence and get rid of any other side effects that you might be experiencing. Do you want me to?” I asked, concern lacing every word. Godric looked at me with worry and nodded. He liked Lafayette and didn’t want him to suffer anymore. He’d already been punished, so it wasn’t fair that he was still paying for what he did. It was like he was serving life without parole for a misdemeanor.

“You can do that, Sook?” he asked, stunned. I nodded and he immediately said, “Yes, please. I hate this shit, please do it.” I wanted to cry when I heard the amount of desperation in his voice. Godric sent me remorse for what Lala was experiencing and strength so I could help him.

I stepped closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, and pushed into his mind. I searched quickly for everything related to Eric and gathered it all in one place. There was so much fear, too much trauma, so I mentally wrapped myself around him, giving his wounded mind a gentle squeeze of comfort. It felt as if his mind itself sighed with the mental hug as he relaxed into my embrace and took a second to actually unwind. His body went slack as his mind nuzzled into mine for strength, absorbing the comfort I gave him. I wanted to fix this so badly, to heal his mental wounds. I wouldn’t realize it until Godric explained later, but my hand lit up with a green glow as I stroked his shoulder and arm softly while I soothed the ragged edges in his mind and smoothed over the hurts. Everything was caught in wicked snarls, so I untangled them with my nimble mental fingers, reinforcing weak strands when I came across them. As I worked, I could literally see his fear lessening and his mind healing. I kept up my mental doctoring until the only fear left was the fear of what would happen if he sold or did V again and a tiny, healthy dose of the fear of pissing Eric off, but it was the same amount he would’ve had for pissing off any vampire.

Then, in a panty-dropping, mesmerizing voice, I finished my glamour with instructions, “Lafayette, you no longer need to be so terrified of Eric Northman. You will treat him like you would any other vampire. You’ll be cautious, like you normally would be around a vampire, but not so afraid. He was just doing his job, so there’s no reason to be petrified of him if you don’t sell V or commit any more offenses against vampires, right?”

“Yeah, Sook. I don’t know why he scared me so much. He just doing his job,” he said, spellbound, and shrugged.

I nodded with a smile, agreeing with him, and then purred, “You won’t have nightmares anymore either, you won’t hallucinate, and you won’t even have any more blood dreams. Anything to do with your V punishment is over. You can close the book on that chapter of your life and look back on it without fear. It’s a fact and it happened, but it won’t harm you anymore, okay?” Technically, he would have blood dreams for a few months, but my glamour would force him to immediately forget them, thus he wouldn’t suffer from any nasty side effects if he couldn’t remember what he dreamt about.

He sighed with relief and said, “It’s over. I’m not proud of it and I ain’t dumb enough to do it again, but I ain’t gotta be afraid no more. It’s okay.” Then he smiled and said, “I’m okay.”

I pulled back slowly, making sure his mind was prepared to stand on its own, as I murmured, “Now you will be.”

Lafayette blinked, trying to analyze his own state of being, before he let out an enormous and relieved sigh. He smiled brilliantly at me, wrapped his arms around me, and hugged me tighter than a cobra would its prey. He kissed my cheek again and said, “My God, Sook, that was better than a month in a spa. I feel more rested than I’ve ever felt and the fear’s gone, Sook! I ain’t worried someone’s gonna sneak up and kidnap me if I turn my back on ’em or afraid to turn around and see that big, blond, hunk of undead meat anywhere I go. I feels great! You lied earlier, you is an angel.” He whispered the last part and when he pulled back, there was a tear sliding down his face. “Oh go on, you can drink it,” he joked with a smile. I reached out and popped in my mouth, more than happy to enjoy a tear brought about by joy. I could even taste the relief in it. “I love you, Miss Fangs.”

My heart squeezed again, delighting my bloodline, and I whispered, “I love you too, Lala. I’m sorry you went through that. It’s a good thing I’m a vampire or I wouldn’t have been able to help you like that, huh?”

“Yeah, it is. And it’s a good thing because you’re happy. I ain’t ever seen you so comfy in you own skin, and it’s a beautiful look for you, that happiness. You wear it well. Thanks again, hooka,” he sighed out. “I should go back in before Sam gets wise and just fires me.”

I nodded, gave him another hug, and said, “I’ll call you soon. Godric and I are gonna slip into Sam’s office. You mind sending Sam and Tara back? If I tell one they’ll tell the other before I get the chance, so I figured I’d do it all at once. Two birds, one stone.”

“Yeah, sure, you take care of yourself, sweetness. Godric, it’s been cool,” he said as he tipped his head Godric’s way, who nodded back with a smile.

“It was a pleasure, Lafayette,” Godric replied with honesty.

“Maybe for you,” he mumbled under his breath as he opened the door, forgetting about vampire hearing, “but I got my mind stroked by cold, creepy fingers.”

We laughed as the door shut behind him, getting a kick out of his final comment, before turning to look at each other. Godric held his elbow out for me and I slid my hand into the crook of it as we walked, at human pace, towards the backdoor that led to Sam’s office.

“Did you realize you used your fairy light on Lafayette, child?” Godric asked. I shook my head, speechless and stunned. What did the light do? “Personally, I have never seen anyone react to glamour the way Lafayette just did. The light was green, which is often used to represent peace and healing. While you used your glamour to compel him to ‘shut the book’ on his fear, I believe you healed him of his mental and emotional trauma. It was a beautiful thing to watch. It would not surprise me if we come to discover healing is a gift of the Fae. I am so very proud of you and so very sorry that his punishment scarred him that badly,” Godric stated. He sent me an odd mixture of warmth, love, sorrow, pride, remorse, and amazement. The combination definitely caught Pam and Eric’s attention and they flooded Godric with their intrigue and curiosity. He gave them back a push that told them to mind their own business. Pam responded with irritation and Eric with another push that practically growled, “Fine!” Both our lips twitched at his reaction.

“I am also amazed with your ability to glamour. I gave you a template that I use, and have used for hundreds of years, and you not only performed a difficult glamour, you improved upon it. You improved the glamour of a 2,000 year old vampire who specializes in it. What you came up with was ingenious, Sookie. I have learned many things from you tonight. You are my teacher tonight, not me yours. And you can count on me using what I learned in the future. I will probably even teach it to Eric and Nora,” he added with a genuine smile, still keeping up the flow of the same emotions he sent me before. I responded with kisses of gratitude in the bond.

The conversation died off there as we entered Sam’s office and settled ourselves. Godric sat down and relaxed while I remained on my feet since I knew I would probably be hugged before I could say a word. It would be after either Sam smelled me or Tara felt my somewhat cooler skin that I would see how they truly felt about me being vampire. Godric swamped me in strength and support as my levels of unease and anxiety became too much for me.

We could hear them approaching. Tara was arguing with Lafayette, who just kept shepherding them in our direction while saying, “Trust me, hooka. You gonna wanna see this. Keep your mind open though, Tara Mae, and don’t fly off the handle. This is a gift and if you attack the angel in the other room for anything you will get a grade A ass whoopin’ Lafayette-style. You picking up what I’m puttin’ down?”

Godric and I shot smiles at each other as our amusement erupted in the bond. It was definitely a smart move to tell Lafayette first. I just prayed Tara would listen to him because Vampire Sookie did not like being attacked. I would have to work on not just emotional control, but on tempering my natural predatory instincts and force myself not to slide into that state if things got volatile.

“Yeah, bitch, I got it. Listen and don’t hurt no one, I got it,” Tara snapped as the door flew open and she and Sam walked backwards into the office.

“That goes for you too, Boss man,” Lafayette added as he pulled the door shut and headed back towards the kitchen.

Sam and Tara raised their eyebrows and exchanged worried glances with each other then turned away from the door, taking in the rest of the room before their eyes settled on me. Sam stood rooted to the spot as Tara sprinted at me, doing her best to tackle me but ran into the brick wall that was my arms instead.

Sookie?!” she shrieked. Tara wrapped her arms around me so tight that I wouldn’t have been able to breathe if I needed to. I could smell tears once again as we held each other. I hadn’t said a word yet, still looking at the frozen Sam over her shoulder, and worried that I should’ve spoken to them separately after all.

Tara pulled back, bringing her hands to my face as she moved. I finally broke eye contact with my old boss and looked back at my best friend with a smile wider than a trailer on my face. I missed her. So, so much.

“Tara, you look gorgeous!” I gushed. She really did too. Her hair had been relaxed, whereas the last time I saw her it was in hundreds of tiny braids, and now she was wearing more makeup, but it was smooth and glossy like a movie star’s. Even so, I could see how tired her eyes looked and lines of grief in her face. I didn’t know when exactly she had tried to kill herself, but I could tell it wasn’t very long ago. There was too much darkness in her eyes for it to have been more than a few days.

“You do too. In fact, I don’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful. You’re complexion is like marble, tan marble, but so smooth. And your hair is shinier and your eyes are brighter. You look like a model, why is that?” she said in confusion with her brows furrowed.

“It’s ’cause she’s a vampire now, ain’t it, Sookie?” Sam spat and let out a growl. Godric stood when he heard his tone, drawing attention to himself for the first time. Sam looked at him and panic clouded over his expression. Obviously, Sam was now noticing Godric’s glow and taking in the fact that it was twice as bright as Eric’s, that he was dealing with a vampire over 2,000 years old.

“You will sit down and listen to what Sookie has to say, shifter, if for no other reason than Sookie came here to tell you herself. For some reason, she said you were family. I have uprooted my life from Texas so that my progeny can be closer to those lucky enough to be considered by her as kin, so if you do not sit your ass down then I will make you,” he said, beginning his order in the world’s most patient and calming tone and ending it with a vicious hiss when Sam just kept standing there. Realizing Godric meant business, he finally backed down and took a seat. His eyes looked wild, his jaw clenched, and his hands were white-knuckling the arms of his chair.

“Is it true? You a vampire, Sook?” Tara asked in a small voice, bringing my eyes and attention back to her. She looked torn, like she wanted to get away from me and get closer to cuddle at the same time.

“Yes, I am vampire now-” Sam cut me off with a snarl, “but you need to know how it happened and, afterwards, if both of you never wanna see me again, then that’s your choice. Just like it was mine to keep surviving, hoping to get back to my family, which includes you both, Sam,” I said pointedly, glancing at him when I said his name, before continuing with my eyes back on Tara, “I died. I know you have to die to become vampire, but I mean I was literally dying when I was offered the choice-“

“Bill did it, didn’t he?” Tara hissed, apparently not having understood the word progeny. “He drained you and turned you! I’ll kill the bastard. I’ll stake him. I-“

“No,” I said with finality.

“What?” she asked, surprised by my tone.

“No. Bill didn’t turn me, Tara. He’s not my maker. I was attacked at the Fellowship of the Sun, thrown into the basement, beaten, stabbed, and nearly raped,” Sam growled, Tara gasped, and Godric dropped fang, probably to tell Sam to shut the fuck up, “and Godric, the vampire I was lookin’ for, stopped the rapist and offered me a choice. I wanted to live, wanted to see my friends, to be reunited with my family, and the only way I was ever making it out of that basement was as a vampire. So I said, ‘Turn me.'” I shrugged. “And I haven’t regretted it once. I wouldn’t be here talkin’ to you, listening to you threaten Bill and you, Sam, snarl at me for wanting to live, if I hadn’t chosen to be turned.”

I stroked Tara’s arms as I said this, hoping she wasn’t going to snap. So far, she was reacting a lot better than I thought she would. At the moment, she was speechless. I could tell she was still trying to determine how she felt, so I chanced a look at Sam. His emotions were still more red and snarly than usual, but he looked less panicked and more cautious than angry. I had hope that maybe he would change his mind and not hate me for being vampire, there wasn’t much of that hope since I knew how he viewed us, but it was there nonetheless.

“You turned her then?” Tara asked after turning to look at Godric.

“Yes, I did. Sookie and I saved each other that night. We both would’ve met our ends in that church. I had given up at that point and grown tired of my existence. After 2,000 years of night,” he paused to smile at Tara’s look of shock, “I felt like it was more than enough. I thought I could give Steve Newlin a sense of justice with my death, but that was incredibly naïve. My other progeny, Eric Northman,” Sam growled again at Eric’s name but Godric just sent me an emotional eye-roll, which had me fighting laughter, and ignored him as he continued, “sent Sookie into the Fellowship and asked her to use her telepathy to look for any information on me. The man who went with her had managed to keep his motives secret from her and tipped off Steve Newlin. They were led on a tour which ended in the basement in a cell. I heard Sookie screaming, but it was too late by the time I got to her. The man had stabbed her and she was bleeding out. I would not have been able to save her with just my blood. I felt the pull to be her maker immediately,” he kept on with the story, ignoring Sam when he gasped, “but was reluctant to create another vampire when I no longer wanted to walk the earth.’

“After speaking with her, Sookie convinced me my final death was not the answer, was not the redemption and escape I was looking for. I needed to atone with the way I lived and ending my life was not the way to show my atonement. With her very last breaths, she begged me to live, gave me a glimpse into what a beautiful soul she has and what my life might be like if I embraced it fully. After she made me understand and realize this, I offered her the choice to become my progeny. She accepted because she wanted to return to you, to see you all again, even you, shifter,” he spat. “I have not regretted it once either,” he finished by smiling at me. I sent him every bit of love I possessed and gratitude. He returned it and it took every ounce of control both of us had not to start what would seem like randomly purring in front of them.

“Well,” Tara said after a moment of putting her thoughts in order, “you always were too selfless for your own damn good, Sook, but damn if I ain’t glad to see you alive and kicking, so to speak.” She then threw her arms around me and rocked from side to side while laughing and thanking God in her thoughts.

The story of my turning wasn’t enough for Sam though. He was hung up on my nature and refused to give me even a minute of relief with Tara before he snapped.

“You’ve changed her,” Sam hissed at Godric, bringing Tara’s laughter and our hug to a stop. “Being a vampire will change everything she is! Sookie was tender, caring. She was never bloodthirsty, never vicious. Being a vampire means being the opposite of everything she ever was.” He slammed his fists down and cracked his desk as he added, “You’ve ruined her.”

That was the last straw. My fangs dropped and I vamped myself in front of him, slapping my own hands down on the desk and leaning down to get closer to his face. It took everything I had not to let my emotions slip away and show Sam exactly how much I could change. Godric placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently, also pissed but knowing I didn’t want to hurt someone I considered family. He flooded me with calm and strength, trying his best to also tamp down on my rage and suppress the hurt and rejection I was feeling.

“Now we see her other face, Tara. This is what it means to be vampire,” Sam whispered as he looked into my eyes.

“And you have shown me, Sam Merlotte, what it truly means to be two-natured. Only that second nature, that face I’m lookin’ into right now, ain’t the face of the animal you shift into, it’s the face of an animal of an entirely different sort,” I said calmly and languidly, using my more predatory voice. I watched with satisfaction as the hairs on his arms stood on end. “Everything I am is still in here, now I am just more. I have grown. I am a predator now in addition to who I am, but I still carry my light in my soul. In fact, it’s stronger. You have always been a predator, but it doesn’t change how I view you. Shame on you, Merlotte,” I scolded, using his last name, refusing to call the thing before me by the name of a friend. “Shame on you for judgin’ me for surviving, for wantin’ to come back to be in the presence of those I love again. Shame on you for judgin’ me for part of me being predator when you have been part predator since the day you were born, for judgin’ me for having fangs and drinking blood when you shift into an animal with fangs yourself and hunt at least once a month to kill.”

He paled considerably when I spoke and beads of sweat ran down his neck, I could scent it. I knew why he felt I was ruined. It had nothing to do with my nature and everything to do with the state of my body. He had always held out hope, even after I fell in love with a vampire, that he and I would one day have a family together. He knew that wouldn’t happen now that I couldn’t have kids. He felt I had taken his future away from him, which was ridiculous since he thought me dead for a month now. That future disappeared weeks before I entered the room. Hell, it never truly existed to begin with.

“I was never gonna be yours, Sam, so if you’re still snarlin’ at me because you think I’m tainted goods somehow since I can’t have kids, then you need to shut the fuck up and grow the hell up!” I hissed at him.

“Get outta my head, Sookie!” he shouted back.

“I can’t read your thoughts anymore you jackass!” I snarled, lying through my teeth. Godric was more than fine with it because the plan had been to lie about my telepathy anyways. I hadn’t been listening to Sam though. I had just used my brain. I was sick of his attitude and I could feel my predator pushing at the gates. If he didn’t control himself, he would have to deal with an aggressive and hurt Vampire Sookie very, very soon. I wasn’t sure any of our friendship could be saved if I let the predator out and it unleashed its wrath upon him. It would be hitting a new level we couldn’t backtrack from.

I released a breath I didn’t need as Sam sat there, stunned by what I had said, and spoke quietly, letting a little more emotion slip back into my voice, “Even if things had gone wonderfully between us and I had been able to deal with hearin’ your thoughts every time we touched, I never would’ve had children, Sam. I would never risk passing telepathy onto a child after everythin’ I went through as a kid. If this is your hang-up, if this is what you can’t get past, you need to stop and think about it more. Me becoming a vampire never took anythin’ away from you, Sam. We weren’t a couple. The one date we went on ended very badly and even if we somehow started datin’ again and got married one day, I wouldn’t have had kids. If you really stop and think about it, my turning took nothing away, but did give you somethin’ back. I’m here, I ain’t alive, but I’m here. You can see me, touch me, speak to me, and hear me. None of that would be possible if I died in that basement, if I had said no to Godric. Would you really prefer me dyin’ on the floor of that fanatical church instead of seein’ me with fangs?”

Nothing but silence filled the air for one tense moment until he finally relented and his shoulders slumped.

“No, cher,” he said, using his favorite endearment for me the very first time tonight. “No, I would rather see you ‘with fangs’ than bury your casket, so no, I wouldn’t prefer it. God,” he said and pushed his hands through his hair before pulling on it, “I’m so sorry, Sook. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry, so very sorry. You ain’t ruined. I’m just an asshole who can’t deal with change.” I retracted my fangs and took a step back, still eyeing him a little warily. He pushed his chair back and stood up before making his way out from behind the desk and opening his arms to me. I gladly sank into them, letting go of the hurt and wariness and ready to accept the comfort of a friend, relieved that we had finally gotten past this.

“Sam?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, cher?”

“You really do smell like a dog,” I stated. He looked down at me with his mouth hanging open and then the whole room burst into laughter. Thank the stars, maybe my family would survive this intact after all.

back-ericsookie-homenext-godric

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3 thoughts on “Chapter 19: No Regrets

  1. I love Lafayette. His character was the lone open-minded person in BT and most loyal to Sookie. He also had such great style! What a true character!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. so it went better than i thought it would, she was great with Lala and her fairy gift …. i was afraid Tara would lash out but she didn’t and that is a good thing but i wonder if things will change once she has time to think on it. as for Sam he can be the biggest asshole. but i admire Godric for letting Sookie handle him. but her last comment about his smell was the best. KY

    Liked by 1 person

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