Disclaimer: I do not own any of this. All the characters and plots of True Blood and SVM are owned by HBO Alan Ball, and Charlaine Harris. They own it all. I just take all their crayons and draw a new picture.
I vamped out of the office with a grin on my face. Eric had thought he was being so slick, but I thought it was actually extremely obvious that he was trying to assert dominance over me. From the way he stroked me (though it had felt sinfully delicious) to the way he grabbed my hair and claimed my mouth, he was trying to make me submit. He was very predatory in that moment, but so was I. Honestly, he could try to dominate me and prey on me as often as he wanted, I would just turn around and do something else to settle the score, and I would always have better timing. It was just how the predator in me worked for some reason, like the way in which I brought up Lafayette. I had basically just given Eric orders for the night, and yet he truly felt appreciation for them. If that wasn’t the work of a dominant predator, I really didn’t know what was.
I have never, ever submitted to him though, even when I was human, so it was a little strange that his vampire nature was suddenly so intent on it. This wasn’t the first time today that he tried. Each time he kissed me, he dominated the kiss. He controlled every aspect of it. He teased me to a point and when he felt like he’d asserted himself, he pulled back. And then I did something to challenge that new dominance and he tried all over again. Each time he did it though, I also did something immediately afterwards that evened the score. I wasn’t really sure the predator in me would allow him to actually dominate me. It unsettled me until I felt we had gained equal footing back, even when it came to the blood. I had felt greatly unsettled until he ingested my tear and the connection evened out. In fact, the only time today when he came close to getting me to submit was when he was lost to bloodlust and that was only because I was quickly becoming lost to bloodlust too. If I had lost myself though, if my own higher functions had suddenly flipped off completely and I operated on nothing but instinct, something tells me he wouldn’t have had control over the kiss for long.
After the bloodlust incident, I had a really emotional moment. It had more to do with residual problems of my human self-esteem and how everyone viewed me as “Crazy Sookie” than it did with how Eric reacted to my scent. Even that situation had resulted in me evening the score though, by claiming him. It wasn’t intentional, at first, but his blood did agree. His blood submitted to my claim, which also means the core of who he was as a vampire submitted to the claim, which actually put me on more than equal footing. Was he trying to overcompensate for that submission by the way he tried to dominate me just now? Or maybe he just enjoyed seeing my reactions to his attempts? Honestly, he actually seemed to like it when I turned the tables on him. It sent a little thrill through him. At this point, I couldn’t be definitive on anything. I would have to see if he continued following this pattern to really draw any conclusions from it. If he did, though, continue to follow this pattern, would I even be able to do anything about it in the long run? Did I want to? Sometimes that aggressiveness was sexy.
I mentally shook myself of my speculations as I got closer to Godric. It had only taken about two seconds to think through all of these things and possible scenarios, but I really needed to focus at the moment. Lust was the only emotion still radiating from me through the bond and I needed to ask Godric whether there was an easier technique or process that could help me come back to myself more quickly. I knew I should be concerned about my lack of emotional response and somehow “trying to relax” wasn’t quite doing it for me. Godric had to send me vast quantities of love, the most intense emotion we possessed, to wake me up from this state last time, but Godric wouldn’t always be around to do that for me so I needed to develop some kind of process that allowed me to wake myself up. I thought it probable that he either had a technique I could use or he could tell me how he put himself back to rights after he lost emotional control and I could try to reverse the process or adjust it to suit my own needs.
My maker was sitting at one of the tables along the side of the bar with two glasses of donor blood on the table before him. Obviously, emotions had just run very, very high and we all could use a snack to settle our inner predators as we recovered from the tension of the night. He still looked a little edgy himself, but his fangs had retracted and he had a beautiful smile on his face. I could still feel his pride in me radiating off of him as I approached.
I pulled out the chair next to him and sat down before picking up a glass and drinking deeply. Human blood was so delicious. True blood would’ve satisfied my hunger but wouldn’t have helped me manage my inner predator, so he had foregone it in favor of the real deal. He had prepared me an O negative, which was actually one of my least favorite types (a fact he knew and selected on purpose because, though I needed a glass of human blood, I did not need to become more predatory), but it still tasted better than a warm glass of cocoa and Bailey’s Irish Cream. The scent was particularly delightful for some reason and I found myself sniffing it like a bloodhound, pun intended. After I finished it, and licked my lips clean with a small moan, I did indeed feel a little bit more settled and was able to focus enough to bring my lust back down to a lesser level that allowed me to retract my fangs.
“Master,” I said with a nod. He was immediately on alert with the use of his title. While Eric seemed to use it whenever he addressed Godric with something serious, only using his first name in more relaxed and comfortable conversation, I used it for very specific reasons. According to the rules of vampire etiquette, I must use it whenever we were at social functions or around other older vampires not of our bloodline because it was a term of respect and status, it was also a title Godric had earned and I never used it insultingly or with sarcasm because Godric was an incredible maker and therefore deserved that respect. When we were in a more relaxed setting or when it was just the two of us, I used it primarily when I was addressing him in the role of my teacher (indicating I needed him to mentor me), when I wished to show obedience, and when the predator within me emerged.
The more intuitive part of me recognized Godric as the ultimate authority and as my creator, in this way I displayed my submission to him and my recognition that he was a better vampire than me in all ways; age, strength, intelligence, speed… in all ways. I was absolutely more aggressive when my vampiric nature took over, but I was still submissive to my maker, and I always would be simply for two facts; that he would always be more than 2,000 years older than me and he made me. So I was indeed the submissive one of our pair when Vampire Sookie came out to play and I literally didn’t have to think about having to use that term. Vampire Sookie used it instinctively when she surfaced just like she did in Eric’s office.
So Godric was immediately aware I either wanted him to show and teach me something or my predatory self was still in the driver’s seat, which is something he needed to be aware of regardless. In this case, I used his title for both reasons.
“Child?” he asked me, voice laced with concern. By now he noticed that, though my fangs had retracted, I was still very much the predator. He was prodding the bond gently, analyzing my state and his concern seemed to grow when none of the prodding produced even the slightest emotional reaction.
“Master, I need to know somethin’. As you can tell, my emotions are still bottomed out. I know I should be concerned about this, rationally, but I find I’m strugglin’ to come back to myself. I realize most vampires usually experience the opposite of what I’m currently experiencing, but I was wonderin’ if you can help me find a better way to come back to myself and embrace my emotions faster. Tryin’ to relax doesn’t seem work and you won’t always be around me to send me love like you did earlier tonight to snap me back. At the very least, I thought you might be able to tell me how the normal vampire regains his control and I could reverse or adjust the process,” I confessed and pleaded. I didn’t like going so long without feeling. Emotions were the core of who I was, I was my emotions. That was why they were so pure and so intense.
He reached out for my hand, which I immediately gave him, and studied my face contemplatively. Finally, he gave my hand a gentle squeeze and said, “Typically when the average vampire is striving for control, they focus on an emotion and tune out all others. For example, if they are experiencing too much rage, they search inside themselves for calm and focus on it until it is the primary emotion that they feel, they then intensify it until every other emotion fades into the background, similar to how we tune out noise outside the area we wish to listen to with our extra sensitive hearing. When they’re overly stressed, they search for relaxation, when they’re overly sad, they search for a small piece of happiness, when they feel torn apart, they focus on feeling whole. They find a smidgeon of that emotion and intensify it until it is their only focus. Once they have done that, they focus on lowering that emotion and striving for the state you are in.’
“It is a constant battle to block the emotions and the emotions never disappear entirely. You, somehow, do separate yourself entirely, so I do not believe you can use this technique and simply adjust it. When what you so fondly call Vampire Sookie emerges, I can feel your emotions physically tightening, like you are making them more and more compact, until I feel the sensation of you pulling away, of everything that makes you who you are, pulling away and you feel to me as if you are physically distancing yourself from the predator that emerges-“
At this point Eric walked out of his office with the cooler in his hand and headed towards the front of the club.
“I’ll be back. Pam’s approaching and I want to hand this off to her with instructions,” he said carefully, realizing he hadn’t swept the club yet and making me aware of that fact as well. He suddenly flooded us with alarm since we had been in the middle of a serious discussion without thinking about it, but Godric reached out and shot us with security, reassurance, and privacy, effectively washing away Eric’s concern.
“I borrowed Sookie’s gadget when I first came out here and swept the club. There were twelve different bugs, but no video cameras. They’re now drowning in a glass of water on the bar,” Godric said with a small smile.
Irritation flared in Eric’s blood and he cursed something in Swedish. Godric flooded him with enough mirth to have Eric’s lips twitching until he noticed nothing but static was coming from me.
He sent me concern and asked, “Are you okay?”
“She’s fine, Eric. We’re experimenting with her emotional control. Go meet Pam or you will have to explain our presences before you’re ready and what you’re doing should most definitely take priority.”
We could both feel Eric’s blood disagree with Godric. Almost like it had grumbled, “Sookie takes priority,” which had Godric’s mirth erupting in our veins all over again before he gave Eric a very strong emotional push and said, “Go, Eric. Now.”
Eric studied my face for another second, finally vamping out of the bar after I nodded.
“As I was saying, dearest, the tightening of your emotions was why I told you to relax. I thought if you loosened them back up, your beautiful emotions would return. Now, after what we just discussed, I think maybe you need to physically bring them back and then try to loosen them or open them up like you do with the bond. Are you willing to try something for me?” I nodded. I was willing to try anything at this point. After all, nobody thought it would be a good thing for a sociopathic vampire to be walking around Shreveport. “I want you to pick a beautiful memory from tonight. When a vampire remembers something, it is so clear and detailed that we feel like we are physically inside the memory and we feel the emotions we experienced as if we were experiencing them for the first time, so I would like you to select something positive but emotional from today, something that does not involve lust or the urge to hunt, close your eyes, and immerse yourself in it. I think remembering something positive and powerful will loosen the tight hold your blood has on your emotions. Will you do that for me now?” I nodded and closed my eyes.
With vampire speed, I did an inventory of everything I had experienced since I rose for the night. The most powerful moment I had was with Godric when we sent each other streams of love, but the most beautiful moment happened with Eric, just after I had taken his blood.
Suddenly, I was back in the office, straddling Eric’s lap with his palm over my heart while he stared at the area in question with sheer awe. I swore I could feel my skin tingling where his skin touched mine and if my heart could still beat, I was positive it would be racing. His strong, masculine scent filled my nose and it brought with it the feelings of security and strength.
He smelled like the ocean in winter. Underneath that scent was the smell of his blood, which was freshly tilled earth and cold water, a combination of him and Godric since Godric turned him, but Eric also had this other scent sitting on top of it. I felt like I could reach out and touch it, though I logically knew it shouldn’t be there. I should only be able smell the scent of his blood, yet he really did smell like he had stepped off a boat on the North Sea and I imagined if I were to lean over and lick his skin, I would taste salty seawater and snowflakes.
I looked up at him in wonder, which he couldn’t see because he was still fixated on the location of his hand. He really was handsome, I could fall into his eyes and drown if I let myself, and the depth of emotions I had felt from him today had left me speechless. He really panicked earlier. Eric was freaked out over the thought of me leaving and the idea I wouldn’t forgive him, but he was even more afraid that he had hurt me. The very idea of hurting me had flooded him with remorse and shame. I had never realized he felt so strongly before I felt his presence in my blood, but he did. He felt. And there was love in him. I could feel it in his blood, he loved Godric and Pam. Part of me wished I could feel love for me there too.
Then there were his thoughts.
I couldn’t understand most of what he was thinking, yet I could understand the majority of what he had been thinking today had been centered on me. Sookie was Sookie in any language. He would ramble on and then get a very vivid fantasy of me that would have Human Sookie blushing to high heavens and avoiding him like the plague or suddenly drop into a very rare use of English and just think, “Gods, she’s beautiful,” which had evolved into some sort of mantra since he’d thought it so many times over the course of the night. Luckily, after his little fantasy of seeing me rise vampire (in which he buried me naked) and he caught my emotional blush, I had been able to capture most of the following ones in protective blood shields and kept an impeccable poker-face (I ought to be nominated for an Oscar, I was that amazing an actress). Otherwise, I would definitely not have been able to look him in the eye ever again.
I focused back on what Eric was currently feeling. As always, there was ever-present lust and possessiveness, but at the moment there was also astonishment, tenderness, warmth, completeness, and a whole lot of hope.
I looked back down at his palm before looking back up at him with confusion. When he remained speechless, I dug into the tie and snapped my mental fingers in his face to get his attention.
Godric slipped out at that moment to get some True Bloods, for which I was a little relieved because the space helped me distance my emotions a little and made it easier to throw up a cursory shield, and with the looks I was getting from Eric and the incredible emotions he was experiencing, I was a little concerned I might start to feel something I didn’t want either of them to feel coming from me. Not when I could sense in Eric’s blood that he only loved two people.
Godric and Pam.
So I silently prayed to myself he wouldn’t do anything else today that would increase my affection to the point where I was inadvertently caused pain because I had to shield something powerful from him.
Because, at the moment, I wasn’t in love with him, but it was something close.
“Eric, what is it?” I asked. I was getting a little uncomfortable with his hand resting on my chest like that, no matter how much I enjoyed the skin to skin contact with him. I may be vampire, but I was also a lady.
“My blood, every cell you just drank buzzed around excitedly in your veins and then migrated to the warmest part of your body,” he explained, bringing my hand up and placing it palm down against my chest beneath his, so I could feel my own increased temperature, over my heart. “I believe that this is where your essential spark is. It’s the warmest part of you and the most beautiful, your heart. Apparently my blood wants to be as close as it can get to it.”
My heart clenched and I threw up a powerful shield around that sole emotion. Why’d he have to go and say something so touching like that, like it was a simple fact of life? Like it was normal for his blood to want to saddle up next to my heart? Why’d he have to say that my heart was the most beautiful part of me when he’s only ever talked about my body, blood, and scent in the few months that I’ve known him?
Why’d he gotta be so, so Eric?! Confusing me all the time.
A gentle hand on my cheek brought me back out of my thoughts just in time to watch Eric catch one of my blood tears and raise it to his mouth, a tear I hadn’t even realized I’d bled. He groaned in appreciation as he swallowed, savoring the taste of my blood, and let his eyes close in pleasure. Once he opened them again, he locked gazes with me, and we simply watched each other while the blood took hold, the tie between us strengthening and evolving. When it became strong enough to stand on its own, without Godric’s influence, he gave me a breathtaking smile.
My heart clenched again at the sight and my chest tightened, nearly overflowing with warmth.
I opened my eyes and found myself back in the bar with Godric who had a look of absolute wonder on his face. Looks like that were getting way too familiar for my liking.
I quickly searched my blood at my fasted speed, realized all my emotions had opened back up again, including love, which I immediately threw a shield around. Luckily, because vampires think so fast mentally and go through memories with the same speed, it should only have looked like it briefly flickered. Eric was outside somewhere. I knew Godric felt it, but it was very, very likely Eric was too distracted to notice.
Or so I prayed.
I would not give him that emotion without getting it back in return. I knew that sounded selfish, but then that’s what I would be. For months, my daily life was flooded with that emotion, an emotion that completely disappeared when I rose vampire because some sick, manipulative bastard got his rocks off on making me feel like I loved him and pretended he felt it in return. This time it was genuine and I could literally feel that the man I felt it for did not return it. I wasn’t sure which situation was worse. It was the most powerful type of love and the most powerful emotion I had ever personally felt, and I refused to let someone experience it again without it being reciprocated. Right now, it would definitely not be returned.
Not according to his blood at least.
“I think it worked. Thank you, Godric,” I said quietly, immediately letting him know by saying his name that Vampire Sookie had been tied up, gagged, and shoved in the trunk. Then I sent him gratitude and relief. It was so nice to be all of me again.
“Sookie,” he said and paused, hesitancy flooded the bond from him. He sifted and waded through my emotions, which were so scattered I didn’t even know what I was feeling at the moment, before he flooded me with understanding, drowning me in it. His voice then got even quieter, like he was just barely breathing out the words, when he whispered, “That was a very powerful emotion you felt. It pulsated, engulfing the bond twice. What were you remembering?”
My mouth had dropped open at the news about it flooding the bond, but when he asked about the memory, my mouth snapped shut and a large wave of refusal swept down our connection before I had even consciously decided not to tell him. I really should though. Godric was my maker and wanted to take care of me. He already knew what is was, that I had experienced it, and that I was having a difficult time deciding what to do with my emotion since he could literally feel everything else. I was only keeping one emotion shielded, but I felt the possessiveness of a vampire over both it and the correlating memory. Godric had stepped out of the room earlier tonight, so what happened was truly between me and Eric and for some reason, I really wanted to keep it that way.
But I really should open up to him.
“I could command you, child,” he warned me. I had been wavering in my conviction to keep it to myself, but Godric had just chosen for me by trying to threaten it out of me. My Stackhouse stubbornness immediately kicked in and Godric’s eyes narrowed when he felt my resolution flair to life. I then sent him what he had just made me feel, I sent him such a slow-moving wave of sadness and immense disappointment that it lingered over him longer in punishment, and the intensity of it and what I had sent made his eyes widen in complete confusion.
“You vowed to me the night I rose you would only command me if someone were in danger. Whatever emotion flickered in the bond will harm no one,” I said, my tone slipping into Vampire Sookie’s calm, lazy drawl. “You have never threatened me with somethin’ like that before.” I just got my emotions back and a threat like that had my fangs ready to drop. I sent him a very possessive push that said this emotion was mine and sent him another, stronger one that said I protect what’s mine.
The second he heard my tone he loosened the grip on our bond a little. He had been scouring it for the emotion he felt. His curiosity was consuming him. He would never find it. I didn’t hide it in the bond. I hid it behind a mental shield, and my shields were made of silver, so his blood could not drag it out of hiding if he tried to pull it out aggressively. I would keep him from ever experiencing it again if he continued on this course with me and my blood hummed in agreement, it seemed to have confidence I could. That was intriguing, which was the second emotion I blocked from Godric. Feeling my intrigue would lead him to think I was challenging him to try the maker’s command.
Using a mental shield was how I ripped the connection away from Eric at the beginning of the night but kept the bond open with Godric. I could close the bond and tie through the blood though. I had that much control. And if Godric and I didn’t come to an understanding really quick, he would feel our bond closing tonight too. He didn’t like it the first time I did it in Texas and he would hate it even more now because his blood told me he was literally addicted to my emotions. It would cause him pain instead of just shock if I closed it this time. He knew I was powerful enough to do it too. I was stronger in the blood than he was. In fact, I was starting to wonder if it was one of my vampire gifts.
I thought this while I was still speaking and sending my pushes out and I think my blood somehow sensed my intention if he didn’t take a step back because foreboding and warning swelled in the bond of its own accord. I certainly didn’t warn him.
Another of my mental thought processes peeled off in a different direction while this was happening. It was solely concerned with Eric, especially since now that my emotions had woken up I could feel the love I had for him again.
I could feel him outside somewhere, standing motionless. I narrowed my focus on what I could feel of his emotions. Static. Just white noise. It felt exactly as it had when his blood had declared him mine. I could feel nothing but static. And since I could feel Nora’s presence and a shadow of her startled emotions in Godric’s blood when I focused on her and she was a great deal further away than he was, that left just one possibility.
He felt what Godric had described. He felt my love engulf the bond. Twice.
It must’ve leaked into my ties with my siblings too.
I immediately realized Eric had been keeping a closer eye on my emotions than I assumed. In fact, he currently had a white-knuckled grip on our connection to try and receive as much as he could from me. He had been concerned on his way out the door because, at that time, I had been the one whose emotions were nothing but static, so he had kept his mental eyes open and had experienced everything I felt as I came back online. Now, whatever he had felt from me had blown his own emotional state apart and he wasn’t sure how to feel about my most intense emotion. Then, just as quickly, I took it away from him. He hadn’t had any time to adjust.
I built a tunnel along a strand of our connection using my mental shields, because this was between me and Eric and not meant for Godric even if he was my maker, and reached through the tunnel towards Eric to softly soothe him. He startled internally, having not been able to feel it coming, before reaching in with a very firm grip and connecting us. I sent him a wave of gentle assurance, tender apology for screwing with his emotional state, and a soft caress across his rankled nerves, smoothing out his emotional shocks. It wasn’t an explanation because I wasn’t going to give him one. I was not about to explain I blew apart his emotional state with love from a memory of him earlier tonight. Not gonna happen.
He accepted everything greedily, almost like he craved more. When I started to pull back, it was my turn to startle internally (but luckily I did that from inside the tunnel) when Eric resisted, tightening his hold on me. Then he hesitated and indecision surfaced. I sent him a gentle push that whispered, “It’s okay. You can let go. It’s okay,” into his blood and he sent me a rush of almost frenzied affection before slowly and reluctantly loosening his hold until I slipped away, the shields collapsing behind me and fully opening up the connection again as I went.
While I did that, I was also completely focused on my maker.
Godric paused to furiously analyze of all of my reactions. I had shut down on him, I had become more predatory at his threat, I had reminded him of a vow he made, I had pushed him two messages, and the bond had cried out in warning.
He pulled back even more and wariness and cautiousness seeped into the connection.
Good boy, Godric.
He decided to address the command first. He literally grimaced, bowed his head, and sent me shame and remorse while he apologized, “I am sorry, Sookie. You are right. I did make that vow to you when you rose and I meant it. I will not command you in this. You are also correct in saying that the emotion you felt would not harm anyone. If anything, I think it would benefit us all. In over 2,000 years, I have never experienced an emotion as powerful as the one you just experienced and it worries me that you would attempt to suppress something so beautiful. I wanted to know what it was you experienced today that had such a powerful effect on you and I regret reacting the way I did. I do not want to lose my bond with you, even for a brief amount of time, and with everything that has happened since you rose, it could honestly be dangerous for you not to have an open connection with me. Eric would also worry if you shut down the bond because he would not be able to feel you either.”
Well then maybe Eric and I needed to establish our own after all.
His lips quirked up and he felt amusement. Apparently my blood had cried out my response without me saying a word. He kept quiet about it though and moved onto the next issue.
“You sent me two pushes. One of which claimed the emotion as yours, the other very forcefully said that you will protect what is yours. You feel you have to protect this emotion from me?” he asked quietly.
I paused for a moment, delving into my own reaction. I gathered my scattered thoughts, swallowed thickly, and said just as quietly, “I feel extremely possessive and protective over this emotion, Godric. I feel as if I have to protect it from everythin’ and everyone. I don’t wanna let anyone else feel it. I don’t want anyone else to benefit from it. It is brand new. It awakened in my blood tonight and I haven’t had a chance to experience it for myself. You are right. It is both powerful and beautiful, but it is mine and I do not trust anyone with it right now. I just want to nurture it and protect it. I have only ever experienced this feelin’ once before, a much smaller version of it, and that was while I was still human. It was beautiful to feel then too. Then I died and I rose vampire without it and realized… it.. it was never mine… and the emotion was never.. never real.” My voice broke when I said this and went from fierce and predatory to quivering by the end. Blood tears started dripping down my cheeks and I quickly threw up a shield when my voice began to lose control in order to block my sorrow and grief from Eric. It would just confuse him and I didn’t want him to see me mourn for a love I never had. I would not let him experience this with me. He was also mine and I wanted to both nurture and protect him too.
Godric moved faster than I have ever seen him move. He swept me up into a hug and cradled me while I cried, experiencing true grief for the very first time since my turning. I was not crying for Bill Compton. I was crying for the emotion I had been tricked into feeling with vampire blood. It had been so beautiful and precious to me, and it was shattered when I rose, only to then discover the emotion wasn’t even mine, that I had never really experienced love. I had been afraid for the last month that maybe I had never been capable of creating something so beautiful of my own.
Godric had felt the new emotion I was keeping tucked away. He had felt it pulse just twice and still had reacted very badly to it being taken from him, and he knew that it wasn’t even his emotion. He knew exactly how amazing and beautiful it really was so he also realized there was nothing he could say to make this less painful for me. Godric understood he would’ve been devastated himself if something like that had first been taken from him then told it was fabricated, so he offered no words of reassurance or false promises about how it would be okay, because that particular hurt could never be okay. In a way it had been emotional rape. So he just held me and flooded me with support and empathy until the tears stopped. They didn’t last long, honestly, because even though that stunning emotion had been ripped from me, I had something even more exquisite and potent now. The emotion I was now protecting was far stronger and definitely real.
When the tears stopped, Godric pulled back and quickly cleaned my cheeks for me with a rag from the bar while he said, “You do not ever have to share this feeling with the bloodline, Sookie. You are right, it is yours. You do not owe it to anyone to share it with them just because they want a chance to experience how incredible it is. I am sorry for that. I hope one day you will share it with me, but I completely understand why that day is not today. There is one thing you really should do though, and you don’t have to do it right now, but eventually, sometime soon, you should share it with Eric.”
I looked up at him and he smiled gently, slightly amused but mainly concerned when he felt my trepidation at the idea. I didn’t explain what caused it and he didn’t ask.
“You feel the same way about the emotion that you do about Eric,” he stated. “I can feel it in your blood. That is a very beautiful thing, child. I do think you should consider one thing though, if you won’t share yours with him, why would he share his with you?” He threw me a mischievous wink when my head snapped up at that and I felt his mirth bubble in my veins. I also felt the truth of his statement in the blood. It had never occurred to me Eric was shielding love from me too. Why would it? I was using mental shields to keep it extra safe, but he had to be using blood shields. I had completely forgotten he had shields at all. My heart literally lifted with Godric’s comment and I felt like five years had been removed from my shoulders. Godric laughed behind me as he slid behind the bar, feeling the difference in my emotional state, popped some blood in the microwave, and rinsed the wash cloth free of my scent before trashing it.
“I guess it’s a really good thing I wore red tonight, huh?” I asked, giggling when I felt his mirth double.
“Here,” Godric called to me as he tossed a red Fangtasia shirt my way. I had no reason to be self-conscious around Godric since he had literally seen me die, so I stripped my jacket and ruined shirt off and was sliding the new one over my head when I heard the door open, felt Eric’s lust shoot up, and heard his fangs snick down. He only got a brief glance at the black lingerie underneath, so I laughed while blushing in the tie, not bothering to block it. I looked up at Eric and winked, to which he responded with a growl.
Godric and I both laughed after that one.
“Wanna see something cool?” I asked. Godric had seen this before but Eric hadn’t. He nodded with a shrug, retracted his fangs, walked over, sat down on a bar stool, and leaned his back up against the bar to watch as I grabbed the ruined shirt with my hand, then shot a strong, but concentrated burst of sunlight at the fabric still clenched in my microwave fingers. It disintegrated into dust.
Eric didn’t say a word but had a small smile on his face as he clapped and I could feel a little awe coming from the tie.
He sent me curiosity and friskiness as he said, “Not that I mind you changing in the middle of Fangtasia, and I don’t- you are even welcome to use the stage as your personal dressing room- but what happened to the shirt?”
“Got blood on it,” Godric and I answered simultaneously, sending each other amusement, as Godric leaned across the bar to slide a new warm cup of blood towards me. This time it was B negative. I guess he felt I earned the better flavor.
Eric watched me intently as I drained the cup of blood and I could feel his rising lust with each swallow. When I finished it, I licked my lips and may have let out a small moan before turning back towards the bar to give it to Godric. “Thank you,” I told him and he nodded at me as he rinsed the glass and set it in the sink.